Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
