TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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