the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
