So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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