The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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