There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
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I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
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Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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