covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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