So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
