you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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