It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
