Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
