i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
