Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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