i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
