If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
