i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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