I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
