Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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