Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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