I'm so fucking centered right now
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
wow bdsm is so cute
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
