His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
