The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize