is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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