I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
