This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
