I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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