Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
