i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
