you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Im part way to drunk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
