dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
