She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
