a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
