He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
