Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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