I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
