come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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