Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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