A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
