took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I have post one night stand depression
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