Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found a bag of teeth...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
