If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
