I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize