No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wear drunk well.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
