Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize