oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
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his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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