can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
