Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
