I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
