3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
