you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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