Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
