i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
