Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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