awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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