sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i love accidental penises.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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