It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
