She said her name was "party"
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
