TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
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While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
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She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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