I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
