i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
