How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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