ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just forgot I was standing up.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
