does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
