Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
