I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
